I have been diagnosed with PTSD and I have to admit, I HATE that there is no “cure” for it. I mean, I’d like to know that someday I’ll be over the struggle so I can say, “I have been healed from my PTSD.” It doesn’t work that way though.
Fortunately, I can now say that PTSD does not rule my life. That’s pretty big if you think about it. There was a time when I walked into a room full of people, I could almost instantly assess which ones were most likely to cause trouble and which were safe. I was a nervous wreck tracking where each person was and making sure no one got behind me. No, that would make me too vulnerable, so it could not be allowed. It didn’t matter how non-threatening the people in the room were; I perceived everyone as a threat and kept an eye on all of them. You can imagine the energy that took, and the horror with which I viewed attending a party!
It’s not like that now though. Can I say I’ve healed from PTSD? No. Am I still l bothered by it? Yes, sometimes I am. But most of the time, I no longer think about it. My world isn’t driven by it, and I am not consumed with staying safe. You might wonder how I got to this point. By being open and allowing my fears to be challenged by several counselors over the course of several years. It’s a slow process.
I know most of us don’t want to wait that long to feel we can live relatively comfortably with our PTSD, but now that I’m on this side of it, I can say it’s worth wait. There was a time I thought I’d never feel better, or less afraid. Life now is much, much better.
Although you and I may never be “cured” of PTSD, it is possible to reach the other side where you feel like you’re in control rather than having PTSD control you. In other words, there is hope. Don’t give up. Go to those meetings, talk with others who suffer from it. Challenge yourself and your beliefs. It’s a slow process, but you can make it to the other side.