Fighting Back

As I traveled on vacation this week, I thought about how sometimes we have to tolerate things we don’t like in order to get to experience things we want. For instance, I flew to Florida for a week’s vacation with my sister and had to spend a day on the way there and a day on the way back in the airport and on airplanes.  While I don’t actually mind the flying, I really didn’t like the crowds in the lines waiting to board, or being forced to sit still for extended periods of time.  In fact, that’s one of the things I don’t do well at all.  It’s cramped, crowded, and I always seem to be seated next to the woman with the crying baby!

On the other hand, once I got to Orlando, I had a great time. We stayed in a lovely resort, while enjoying great food and entertainment, and even the crowds around the swimming pool weren’t too bad.  But, the thought of taking another day to sit in the airport and fly home followed me through the week like a dark cloud.

I’m glad I went. I had to challenge my desire to isolate myself and I realized I was in danger of ruining my sister’s vacation too if I didn’t get a handle on my PTSD.  I was able to do just that, and we had a wonderful time.  I don’t want to let PTSD rule me and rob my life of joy.  If I allow it to cause me to not take vacations or to ruin everyone else’s vacation, then it has won.  If I control it enough that I can participate in the activities we have scheduled and enjoy them, then I have won, and that’s important to me.  I won’t let PTSD take everything away.  I refuse to let it win.

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