Another holiday has past, and I can’t tell you how glad I am that it is over. Unfortunately, with PTSD, holidays seems to bring more bad than good. I don’t like the stress that comes with getting everything ready and knowing family will be coming in with their own expectations that they demand I live up to. I’m learning every year a bit more about how to say “No” and how to choose my own path rather than letting everyone else around me buffer me around.
Over the years, I’ve learned to weather the storm, so to speak. I try to just close my mouth and not let myself be drawn into defending my own beliefs from those who think they have to convert my thinking to theirs. I stick to myself quite a bit, but I do try to step out of my safety zone and interact with others, at least to the extent that I’m not a complete hermit. But I’m so much more comfortable without all the posturing and posing that comes with social interaction.
I made it through another holiday. It wasn’t as painful as it used to be. It wasn’t as good as I would like it to be either. But, I made it through. I guess that is the one thing they can say about those of us with PTSD: we are survivors. I’m glad of that.