I attended a conference this week where we were led through a guided meditation to help us learn to cope with PTSD. While we did some basic yoga breathing exercises with the meditation, the guide told us to allow ourselves to go to that place where we felt safe, secure and happy in the past and then to stay there a while, in that memory. I found myself traveling back 40 years to when I owned my first horse, Koko. She was a huge bay mare, 16 hands high, with golden dapples on her sides. She was, I believe, part Tennessee Walker and part draft horse. She was gentle, fun to ride, and she was my best friend. I was surprised at the warmth of the memory I found from that long ago.
As the meditation ended, I found myself quite surprised that this was the memory I most associated with safety and happiness. I would have thought that a more current memory would have come to mind, but as I sat and thought more about it, I realized that this was the first time in my life I had felt safe. When I was riding Koko, no harm could come to me, or at least that’s how I felt.
Those years are long gone now, but it was so pleasurable returning to that memory that I’m sure I’ll be revisiting it soon. With PTSD, we don’t often allow ourselves to let down our guard long enough to revive old, happy memories like that. I want to do it more often. I don’t want to lose the memory of that joy and contentment. It made a believer out of me as far as meditation goes. I hope you’ll find a similar memory to revisit soon.