I have, at various times in my life, been overcome by the “black dog” of depression. I guess most people face times when they just feel trapped and unable to move forward, but this is even deeper than that. It’s the darkness that falls on you like a weight and leaves you wondering if you can even stand up under the pressure it creates. During one of my worst bouts, I decided I needed more help than I could get from family, faith, and friends, and I went to the local Community Mental Health for help. I’ve never regretted that decision.
I told my therapist that I felt like a black cloud was following me, and that I was always waiting for something else to go wrong. For the first time, someone explained to me that I wasn’t “crazy,” I had PTSD.
I spent several months in therapy confronting the demons in my mind. Then I finally began to climb out of the hole I’d been living in and could finally feel the sun again. Since then, I’ve have not had to return for more therapy, but it has helped just knowing that it was there if I needed it. I’ve learned many tricks for “bumping” myself off the stuck position so I can move forward again: art therapy is one of my life-savers. I also use music therapy, prayer, and talking to a special, non-judgmental friend. I’m fortunate to have these tools available to me. They’re available to you too, if you need them.