The weather has finally turned beautiful and it’s time to enjoy summer…but what happens when we don’t feel like enjoying anything? Along with the fun parts of summer life come the difficult parts: mowing the lawn, sticky heat, kids under foot during summer break, etc. Sometimes I don’t feel like being happy. I just want to hide out and let life roll on by. And sometimes that is okay too, but not all the time.
The worst thing about feeling out of sorts is that I know it bothers my family and friends. They just don’t understand that sometimes I can’t pretend that everything is perfect. Sometimes I just need to have a “rotten day!” While I don’t try to be nasty to the people around me, I just don’t want to socialize with them. I guess maybe it’s a case of my needing to wallow a bit before I move on.
Whatever the reason, those are the days I try to simply shut up and stay low. I avoid my family and friends, and it’s really for their own good: I know I’m not good company. I don’t even want to be good company! But, it doesn’t last forever and they need to know that too.
Sometimes I just want to do my own thing and not have everyone wondering if it’s because my PTSD is “acting up.” If it is, it’s my own business and I’ll get over it. I try to let those people who are important to me know that they don’t have to worry. I’ll be okay. I just need a little time on my own, and that’s not such an awful thing.