It is difficult to keep your relationship healthy when you live with PTSD. We too often strike out against the ones we care for the most because they still want to do the things we no longer want to participate in. Sometimes we need to stop and assess where we stand and look at how we are treating our loved ones.
Although it is common for those of us with PTSD to want to isolate ourselves from others, it is also not unheard of for us to become angry with our spouse or significant other because she or he wants to go out with friends even when we don’t. Is it fair to expect your family to stay home because you don’t want to interact with others?
It’s not hard to take those we love for granted. We do this when we refuse to listen to their viewpoint or let them finish their sentences, or when we just talk over them as they try to express themselves.
We like to avoid family get-togethers, forgetting that they often want to spend time with each other. We may try to control everything financially as part of our need to control what’s happening in our lives. We may even try to prevent our loved ones from doing things that allow them to better themselves.
Hopefully, none of us wants to bully those we love. Sometimes we just forget that we are the ones dealing with PTSD, not our loved ones. We have to remember, PTSD is our diagnosis. If we don’t, we stand to lose the very relationship we depend upon most. Sometimes we just need to remember that PTSD is our demon to live with and we don’t need to take it out on those we care about.
Gulf War Veterans experiencing unexplained chronic medical symptoms including fatigue, headaches, joint pain, indigestion, insomnia, dizziness, respiratory disorders, or memory problems, may be eligible for VA disability compensation. If you have had any of these symptoms for six months or more, and they appeared during active duty in the Southwest Asia theater of military operation and are designated to be at least 10% disabling, they are considered presumptive conditions. As such, you will not have to prove a connection between your military service and the illness in order to receive VA disability compensation.
Presumptive conditions include:
- Chronic Fatigue Syndrome — a condition of long-term, severe fatigue not caused by other conditions.
- Fibromyalgia – severe muscle pain which may include insomnia, headache, and memory problems.
- Functional gastrointestinal disorders – identified by chronic or recurrent symptoms related to any part of the gastrointestinal tract. These may include irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), functional dyspepsia, and functional abdominal pain syndrome.
- Undiagnosed illnesses, including the following symptoms: abnormal weight loss, fatigue, cardiovascular disease, muscle and joint pain, headache, menstrual disorders, neurological and psychological problems, skin conditions, respiratory disorders, and sleep disturbances.
As a Gulf War Veteran with any of these symptoms, you may be eligible for a variety of VA benefits including a Gulf War Registry health exam, and Airborne Hazards and Open Burn Pit Registry, health care, and disability compensation for diseases related to military service. Dependents and survivors may also be eligible for benefits.
Camp Lejeune is the Marine Corps Base Camp in Jacksonville, North Carolina. From 1957 through 1987, people living at Camp Lejeune were exposed to contaminated drinking water. The contaminants involved were industrial solvents.
The VA is now providing free health care for the following conditions to Veterans who served at least 30 days of active duty at Camp Lejeune between January 1, 1957 and December 31, 1987.
Qualifying health conditions include:
|· Esophageal cancer
· Breast cancer
· Kidney cancer
· Multiple myeloma
· Renal toxicity
· Female infertility
· Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma
|· Lung cancer
· Bladder cancer
· Myelodysplastic syndromes
· Hepatic steatosis
· Neurobehavioral effects
If you believe other health conditions you are suffering from are directly related to the contaminated water you were exposed to at Camp Lejeune, contact your primary health care provider to file a claim with the VA. You will need to have served at least 30 days of active duty at Camp Lejeune, during the time period of January 1, 1957 through December 31, 1987. Family members of Veterans who also resided at Camp Lejeune during the qualifying period are also eligible for reimbursement of out-of-pocket medical expenses involving the covered health conditions.
One of the more common symptoms of PTSD is the tendency to isolate. Those of us with a PTSD diagnosis usually don’t like to be around crowds, we prefer to know exactly what is going on around us at all times. Keeping track of everyone and everything is difficult. Yet, we don’t feel comfortable if we aren’t aware of our surroundings and any threats that might present themselves.
While I understand that isolation is not good for me, I’ve come to view it in a bit more accepting light over the years, and I’ve found a compromise that works for me. I still avoid large crowds if I can help it, but I don’t beat myself up for wanting to keep track of my surroundings. Especially since 9/11, life seems to be much more dangerous; attacks seem to happen somewhere in the U.S. on almost a daily basis. The more horror stories I hear in the news, the more I think that maybe this symptom of PTSD is designed to protect me, and it’s something that has a bit of a positive aspect to it too.
I will still have to work at not overdoing the isolation thing. I know I need other people in my life to find balance and support. But, just maybe this symptom of PTSD is a good thing to the extent that I’m a bit more likely to survive if I keep my eyes open as I go along. I guess the one good thing I can say about having PTSD is that, I’m here, I’m a survivor. That counts for something.
As I traveled on vacation this week, I thought about how sometimes we have to tolerate things we don’t like in order to get to experience things we want. For instance, I flew to Florida for a week’s vacation with my sister and had to spend a day on the way there and a day on the way back in the airport and on airplanes. While I don’t actually mind the flying, I really didn’t like the crowds in the lines waiting to board, or being forced to sit still for extended periods of time. In fact, that’s one of the things I don’t do well at all. It’s cramped, crowded, and I always seem to be seated next to the woman with the crying baby!
On the other hand, once I got to Orlando, I had a great time. We stayed in a lovely resort, while enjoying great food and entertainment, and even the crowds around the swimming pool weren’t too bad. But, the thought of taking another day to sit in the airport and fly home followed me through the week like a dark cloud.
I’m glad I went. I had to challenge my desire to isolate myself and I realized I was in danger of ruining my sister’s vacation too if I didn’t get a handle on my PTSD. I was able to do just that, and we had a wonderful time. I don’t want to let PTSD rule me and rob my life of joy. If I allow it to cause me to not take vacations or to ruin everyone else’s vacation, then it has won. If I control it enough that I can participate in the activities we have scheduled and enjoy them, then I have won, and that’s important to me. I won’t let PTSD take everything away. I refuse to let it win.