When you have PTSD, you don’t necessarily look forward to holidays. Family gatherings may be tense with all the people milling around and the emotional baggage often paired with family interactions. You may not enjoy shopping because intermingling with the crowd leaves you feeling exposed and in a dangerous position. All the activities that often go along with being part of the holiday experience can become burdensome and leave you feeling as though everyone else is in their happy place and you are the odd person out. There may be things that are connected with the holiday that are triggers for you too, such as loud noises, smells you associate with your trauma, or feelings that are uncomfortable for you to deal with.
Sometimes we have to accept that for us, holidays simply aren’t going to be the thrill they are for others. We have to say we had a good time based on the fact that we made it through, not that we had any sort of special experience of joy and laughter. But that’s okay; we have different criteria for what constitutes a good time. While most people don’t understand that, those of us with PTSD know that just surviving another holiday is often a success.